


A Twist of Fate-Loki Fanfiction (Book 2 of the Fate Series)

by katethewriter81



Series: The Fate Series [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Tower, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), F/M, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Love, Thor: The Dark World
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28735812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katethewriter81/pseuds/katethewriter81
Summary: New York City, 2012. The world faces an unprecedented threat. An eclectic group of heroes is the only hope of averting catastrophic destruction.But one SHIELD agent is confronting a more complicated battle. Between her duty and her desires. The past and the present.Armies will fall. Heroes will rise.Fate will conquer all.
Relationships: Avengers Team & Original Female Character(s), Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Fate Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101743
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue

**2012, New York City**

The young woman tried to look casual as she made her way through SHIELD headquarters, her arm pressed to the side of her black leather jacket. She greeted other agents as they passed, hoping her smile looked normal, and breathed a sigh of relief when she finally stepped out onto the sidewalk. She glanced around, her long black ponytail flipping around her shoulders, and then set off down the street. The possibility of repercussions for what she'd done hardly crossed her mind. Her history with Director Fury allowed her quite a bit of leeway when it came to following the rules. He'd forgiven her a lot worse in the past.

Not that Fury had even been around much lately. He was busy at one of the top-secret SHIELD locations, keeping track of the Tesseract project. Something seemed to be off, and he'd been pretty hush-hush about it. Or more than usual, anyway. 

She entered a nondescript apartment building, a squat stack of bricks somewhere in Brooklyn, and jogged up four flights of stairs, arriving at the top just slightly out of breath. A short walk down the hallway, and then she stopped in front of a door, smoothing the flyaway hairs around her face before she knocked. Footsteps sounded inside, and then the door swung open.

The man who stood in the doorway dwarfed her, his blue plaid button-up shirt tight around his muscular arms. He looked around the same age as her, thirtyish maybe, and very clean-cut. He smiled down at her.

"Agent Mancini. I didn't expect you this early in the morning." He stepped back to let her in, closing the door behind her.

"I apologize for dropping by without calling, Captain Rogers." She reached into her jacket, pulling out the file folder she had liberated from the SHIELD office. "But I have something for you." She held it out toward him, but he hesitated, frowning slightly. "I think you'll be interested in this. It's Agent Carter's file."

He stepped forward then, taking the file from her. Still, he didn't open it, only stared at the SHIELD emblem on the cover before glancing back up. "I don't want you getting in trouble for this. If it's going to cause problems..."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Fury will...get over it." She shrugged. "Besides, everyone deserves the chance to say goodbye." His face softening, he glanced away again. She cleared her throat before continuing. "Anyway, I should go. See you at the gym later?" He nodded, and she moved past him toward the door, her hand on the knob before he spoke again.

"Agent Mancini?" She glanced back at him over her shoulder and he smiled, holding up the file in one hand. "Thank you."

"Captain, I've told you a hundred times." She smiled. "Call me Rona."


	2. Chapter One

A few blocks away, she let herself into another apartment, that bore no resemblance to the one she'd just left. She'd often thought Captain Rogers' treated his place as a mere stopover, little more than a hotel room, with nothing to hint at his life or personality. While hers...well, no one could ever say it lacked personality. Photographs and a strange mish-mash of souvenirs from her years of travels covered every available surface. There were tiny statues from China, a small glass jar of Egyptian sand. Pictures of her standing in front of various world landmarks, the style of her clothes changing, but her smile, her face, remaining the same. In every picture, she posed alone.

She had gotten used to being alone. At first, every day was a struggle, like dying over and over again. She couldn't stay in New York, not when she kept imagining that every person she passed on the street might be _him_. So she took that flight to Europe, just as they had planned, and she searched for her father. And when she found him, she finally learned who she truly was.

It was hard to get over the anger in the beginning, the sense that everyone she knew had betrayed her. The feelings tormented her, drove her to the only outlet she could find for her frustrations. She started learning martial arts, every form of street fighting practiced in the countries she visited. Her true nature made her a fast learner, quick and agile, with a natural ability to anticipate the moves of her opponents.

In one of those dark and dusty back alleys, Nick Fury found her. He watched her silently from the shadows, along with a young agent named Phil Coulson, and he saw something in her. And he offered her what she had lost all those years ago. He gave her a purpose again.

Once she left SHIELD Academy (with impressive scores and recommendations from all of the instructors), she requested an assignment to the New York office. After nearly three decades, she wanted to go home. And when Captain Rogers woke from his extended nap, she wasn't all that surprised that Fury appointed her as his handler. Who better to look after the man out of time than the woman that time forgot?

Sometimes she felt like she _had_ died that day so many years ago. That person had been reborn to a new life, a distinguished career, although the old Rona was still in there. Not replaced, but improved. She had developed a reputation as one of the most dangerous agents that had ever existed in the history of SHIELD. Subtle and discreet, unobtrusively lethal, she was known to most of the government agencies by one name only.

They called her Shadowstrike.

***

When she walked into the gym a few hours later, she saw Rogers had beaten her there, as he did most nights. She wondered if she should suggest he find a hobby other than pummeling a punching bag like it was his worst enemy. But she understood that sometimes emotions were so strong they required a physical release, she had been in the same situation herself. And he had about twice as many years worth of feelings to work out than she had. 

"So you're sticking with the solitary training, then?"

He turned toward her, breathing heavy. "You have another suggestion?"

She lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. "We could spar."

"It's not the first time you've suggested that." He glanced down, adjusting the tape wrapped around his hands. "I'm beginning to think you just want an excuse to hit me."

"If I wanted to hit you, Captain, I wouldn't need an excuse."

She smirked, waiting for him to say what he'd said every other time. _Not today._

But he surprised her. "Okay, let's do it."

He followed her to the wrestling ring on the other side of the room, holding down the ropes for her to climb in. Rona hoped his "gentlemanly" behavior wouldn't extend to his fighting. She hated when her sparring partners pulled their punches.

He settled into a fighting stance, knees bent, hands curled into loose fists in front of him. Rona remained still, letting her body relax, her mind clear. When he threw his first punch, a left hook toward her midsection, she leaned back into it, using one hand on his shoulder and his own momentum to propel him into the ropes behind her. He spun back around, and she noted with satisfaction that his next move came faster, and then the next, and the next. Some landed, most she blocked, but eventually she tired of the jabs and swings and kicks. When he swung at her again, she gripped his wrist with both hands and turned into his body, flipping him over her shoulders. He landed on the mat with a thud, blinking up at her in surprise.

Rona bent over him, hands on her knees. "I think you should look into learning some new moves, Captain."

"You know, if I'm supposed to be calling you Rona now..."

In a lightning fast move, he swept her legs out from under her, pinning her to the mat. He grinned.

"You should really start calling me Steve."

Rona laughed breathlessly, oddly pleased. She hadn't seen that coming.

"Don't either one of you sleep?"

She glanced over to see Director Fury walking into the gym, an expression on his face that she couldn't read. He stopped in the center of the room as Steve rose and left the ring. Rona moved to follow, but one look from Fury halted her.

"After seventy years I think I've slept enough, sir."

"Maybe you should be out seeing the world then."

Steve glanced at Rona briefly before turning his attention back to Fury. "When I went under, the world was at war. I wake up, they say we won. But they didn't say what we lost." 

"It's true, we've made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently."

She could sense Steve's impatience from across the room. "Are you here with a mission, sir?"

Fury nodded. "I am."

"Trying to get me back in the world?"

"Trying to save it." He handed Steve a stack of files and waited as he flipped through them.

"Hydra's secret weapon."

"Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you. He thought, and we agree, that the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs."

"Who took it from you?"

Fury's gaze turned back to Rona. "He's called Loki." She clapped a hand over her mouth, but not before a gasp escaped her. Fury stared at her for a moment before turning back to Steve. "He's not from around here. If you're in, there's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know."

"At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me."

Fury smiled. "Ten bucks says you're wrong. There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment."

Rona had turned away, facing the wall so neither man could see the conflicting emotions playing across her face. She hadn't heard his name in years, but there had not been a day go by that she hadn't thought about him. Happiness and apprehension warred within her.

"Agent Mancini." Fury had crept up behind her, and he waited silently until she turned to face him. "I need to know I can count on you."

She bit her lip and then nodded. "Of course." She nodded again, more firmly this time. "I can handle it."

He stared at her for another moment and then turned and strode out of the gym. Rona and Steve silently watched him go. Finally Steve glanced at her.

"Agent...Rona. Is there something you want to tell me before we go on this mission?"

She hesitated, looking down at her hands. They were gripping the rope in front of her so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. She sighed, forcing her grip to relax. When she'd been assigned as Steve's handler she'd told him the truth about her past, thinking it might help him feel more comfortable with her. But there was so much she'd left out. 

"The...the person who took the Tesseract." She swallowed, hating the lump of emotions that had lodged itself in her throat. "I used to know him."

He stared at her for another minute and then stepped toward her, his voice low. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He shook his head. "You might not like the way it ends."

"I'm a professional, Captain. This is my job."

"I'm sure you're very good at it." He smiled. "And it's Steve, remember?" 

She chuckled, and then nodded. He turned away, picking up a punching bag and slinging it over his shoulder. 

"Well, it looks like we have something in common."

She frowned. "What?"

He glanced at her, a sad smile on his face. "We both left someone behind."


	3. Chapter Two

The inside of a Quinjet is far from the quietest place in the world, with the countless beeps and clicks from the instruments, the rushing sound of the engines. Not to mention the noises coming from the tablet Steve was holding on the other side of the plane. Rona recognized the sounds of a rampaging Hulk even from several feet away. But it all just blended into incoherent murmurs in her ears as she focused on the photo in her hands, liberated from Steve's debriefing package. He must have recognized the hungry look on her face when she saw it, for he passed it over without comment. It had been pulled from a security camera, so the quality left a lot to be desired, but there was no mistaking the figure immortalized in black and white.

Loki had changed little in the years since she had last seen him, physically at least. A little leaner, the lines of his face a little sharper. She couldn't be sure from the grainy photo, but he didn't look entirely well, his eyes shadowed, a sheen of sweat covering his face. According to the report, he'd appeared through the Tesseract, somehow commandeered Clint, and escaped from the top secret, high security base. None of it made any sense to her. He'd been forbidden to return to Earth, she'd accepted that she would never see him again. Her fingers slid across the smooth surface of the picture and she sighed. A photograph wasn't good enough, she needed to see him moving, hear his voice. She needed to touch him.

She hadn't heard any of the conversation Steve and Coulson were having on the other side of the plane, but the sudden awkward silence drew her attention. She raised her head to find them both staring at her. Looking away, she laid the picture facedown on the bench beside her and rubbed her hands down her legs. Coulson came toward her, his voice low and yet still seeming to echo through the plane.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Phil had perfected a poker face during his years as an agent, but when she looked at him she could see the concern seeping through.

She nodded. "It's my job."

"But this one is different." He hesitated, glancing back at Steve. "Personal."

"You've known me a long time, Phil." She smiled wryly. "When is it _not_ personal?"

It had been a thorn in Fury's side since she'd joined SHIELD, her inability to keep a professional distance during missions, to go off-book in service of what _she_ considered the greater good. If she wasn't so adept at getting the job done, she felt sure he would have fired her long ago. Phil chuckled softly in acknowledgement. He'd had a front row seat at many of their debates.

"If you say you're good to go, I believe you. But just remember, there will be a moment when you have to choose a side." He shook his head. "He's not the man you used to know, Rona."

She caught Steve's eye across the aisle, holding his gaze for just a moment before he rose and moved toward the rear of the plane. She turned back to Phil. "That man is still in there somewhere. I have to believe that."

He nodded and then smiled. "I picked up another picture for you, might cheer you up a little." He reached into his coat, pulling out a glossy photo and holding it out to her.

Rona chuckled as she took the signed head shot of Billy Joel from his hand. They had spent many hours of surveillance together fighting over the radio and he had never forgotten her preference for the piano-playing singer. 

"Thanks, Phil. This is going straight up on my wall when I get home."

The Quinjet touched down on the deck of the helicarrier, coasting gently toward the hangar. Natasha waited for them as they came down the ramp, her flaming red hair ruffled by the wind. Phil was the first one to reach her.

"Agent Romanoff, this is Captain Rogers."

Steve nodded once. "Ma'am."

Natasha smiled briefly, but she seemed distracted. "Hi." She turned to Phil. "They need you on the bridge."

Phil nodded. "See you there."

He headed off, leaving the three of them alone. They wandered toward the railing of the ship, Rona and Natasha on either side of Steve. 

"Finding you in the ice made quite a buzz around here," Natasha said. "I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?"

Steve frowned. "Trading cards?"

"They're vintage. He's very proud." 

They all turned as a car pulled up nearby and a man climbed out, glancing around him nervously. He appeared middle-aged, dressed in a blazer and jeans, and he didn't seem to notice them at all. Steve headed toward him.

Rona turned to Natasha, noting the strain on her face. She was trying to hide it, but Rona's unique heritage had blessed her with heightened perceptive powers. Or cursed her, depending on the situation. Although it didn't take a lot of skill to know what Natasha was concerned about.

"No word on Clint yet?"

Natasha shook her head. "Loki's brainwashed him somehow. But we'll get him back." Even as she said the words, she looked unsure.

Rona laid her hand on her friend's arm and smiled. "Of course, Nat. And soon."

Nat hesitated and then returned her smile. They turned toward the two men, who were now standing by the railing of the ship, and Rona held out her hand to the newcomer.

"Doctor Banner. I'm Agent Mancini. It's a pleasure to meet you." He shook her hand, a wary expression on his face. He seemed to have doubts about the situation in general and SHIELD in particular.

The ship rumbled slightly beneath them. Nat stepped forward. "Gentlemen, we may want to step inside. It's gonna get a little hard to breathe in a minute."

The ship began shaking harder, as if an earthquake had rolled across the ocean floor. Steve turned with a frown. "Is this a submarine?"

Doctor Banner looked as if he thought they all had lost their minds. "Really? They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container?"

Rona and Nat exchanged amused glances as the men stepped closer to the edge, peering over the side. The four huge fans mounted on the sides began lifting them into the air.

Banner smiled. "Oh no, this is much worse."

Fury was waiting for them on the bridge. Rona smiled as Steve walked over and handed him a ten dollar bill without a word. Fury pocketed it with a smile before turning to Banner and extending his hand. After a moment, Banner reluctantly shook it.

"Doctor, thank you for coming."

"Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh...how long am I staying?"

"Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear."

Banner still looked skeptical. "Where are you with that?"

Fury turned to Coulson, motioning for him to explain. "We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us."

Nat turned from a nearby computer screen where she'd been eyeing an image of Clint. "That's still not gonna find them in time."

Banner shook his head. "You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?"

"How many are there?"

Rona tuned out the conversation as Banner shifted into a scientific explanation of what they'd have to do to track down Loki. She studied the picture of Clint that still sat on the monitor, the hollow, unfocused look in his eyes. The account of _how_ exactly Loki had turned him had been annoyingly vague. Some sort of glowing staff? She shook her head. Just what had Loki gotten himself mixed up in?

***

Night fell as they waited for satellite recognition to give them some sort of lead. Rona stood on the bridge with her arms crossed against her chest, one foot tapping continuously on the floor. She was only half listening to Steve and Phil's nearby conversation about Captain America trading cards when an agent seated at a console in front of them spoke up.

"We got a hit. Sixty-seven percent match. Wait, cross-match, seventy-nine percent."

Rona stepped forward, leaning over the agent's shoulder, eyes locked on the figure moving across the screen. There he was, dressed in an expensive looking suit and carrying a cane, still as lithe and graceful as she remembered him. Her pulse rose, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

"Location?" Phil watched her as he asked the question and she struggled to keep her expression calm.

"Stuttgart, Germany. Twenty-eight Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding."

Rona frowned, straightening, running the words through her head. Not hiding. Loki, master of disguise. There was definitely something off about the situation. 

Fury turned to Steve. "Captain, you're up." Steve nodded and turned to leave. Rona moved to follow him, but Fury grabbed her arm, shaking his head. "You're sitting this one out."

The color drained from her face. "But, sir..."

"You're going to argue that you've been with Captain Rogers since we brought him in, that you're one of the most capable agents here. That's all true." He stepped closer, lowering his voice so no one around would overhear. "But we need clear heads down there. People with nothing at stake." He paused, waiting for her to say something. Her heaving chest and glittering eyes told him all he needed to know. "That's _not_ you."

He let her go and she stepped away, teeth gritted, hands clenched at her sides. "If you thought you couldn't trust me," she nearly hissed the words, her eyes burning with a furious green fire. "Maybe you should have left me in New York." 

She turned without another word and strode off the bridge before she could do something that got her thrown off the mission. Fury's words angered her, but some part of her knew he might be right. If she were down there, face to face with Loki, could she guarantee that her focus would be on recovering the Tesseract, protecting those in danger? She wanted to say yes, she knew her job, she knew the stakes. But when you came right down to it, her greatest flaw, according to Fury, was her tendency to follow her heart rather than her head. And in that case, the choice would be simple.

She'd save Loki, every time.


	4. Chapter Three

Rona lay on the narrow bed in one of the crew rooms, staring at the ceiling. Steve and Nat had left what felt like hours ago, and her mind was consumed with thoughts of what might be going on out there. The lengths Loki might go to if he felt pressed into a corner. If Nat got hurt, or Steve... The realization that Fury hadn't brought her on the mission because he thought she might be useful, or even because she was _technically_ Steve's handler, but because he wanted her where he could keep an eye on her, filled her with frustration and anger. Not so much with Fury as with herself. She should have known he wouldn't let her anywhere near Loki.

She closed her eyes, her mind drifting back to the time she had spent with Loki, ages ago and yet as clear as if it had happened yesterday. Those moments glimmered like jewels, they were the only thing that had kept her from going insane after they said goodbye, the only thing that brought her any happiness at all for years. She had left a part of herself on Asgard that day. In her darkest moments, she thought it was the best part.

The shuffling of feet in the hallway outside brought her back to the present. The light filtering in through the small window in the door dimmed and brightened as figures passed in front of it. Fury hadn't called her, the com in her ear remained maddeningly silent, but she knew with a flash of certainty that Loki was on the ship. She could _feel_ him.

She rose to her feet, swinging open the door, but only caught a glimpse of the guards that surrounded him as they rounded the corner. She hesitated, wanting to follow, to at least see him in the flesh before they put him in a cell. But she would have a lot of explanations to make to him. And it would be better done alone.

She turned in the opposite direction, making her way to the briefing room, where the others stood crowded around a monitor. Loki's voice greeted her as she walked through the door, hushed and distorted slightly by the speakers.

"How desperate are you that you call upon such lost creatures to defend you?" 

His voice was the same as she remembered it, like honey and glass all at once. She froze in the doorway as that voice wrapped itself around her, lighting every nerve in her body on fire. Fury's response was nothing more than background noise, filling the vacuum before Loki spoke again. 

"Ooh, it burns you to have come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share. And then to be reminded what _real_ power is."

Rona raised her head from the monitor, startled to find a tall, muscular man staring at her with a puzzled frown. Still distracted by hearing Loki's voice after all this time, it took a few seconds for her to recognize him. Eventually, his unusual outfit jarred her memory. This was Thor, Loki's brother, who she had briefly met years ago. She got the feeling, from the look on his face, that the meeting hadn't entirely slipped his mind either.

Banner was the first to break the silence that hung in the room. "He really grows on you, doesn't he?"

Steve glanced around, noticing Rona for the first time. "So, Thor, what's his play?"

Thor dragged his gaze away from Rona. "He has an army called the Chitauri. They are not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

"An army? From outer space?" Steve looked skeptical, but Banner was staring thoughtfully at nothing.

"So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

Thor frowned. "Selvig?"

"He's an astrophysicist."

"He's a friend."

Nat spoke up, her words directed to Thor but her eyes on Rona. "Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours."

Steve frowned to himself. "I want to know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here."

Banner waved his hand. "I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag of cats. You can smell crazy on him."

Rona and Thor both took a step forward, but he was the first to speak. "Take care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother."

Nat glanced up at him, an eyebrow raised. "He killed eighty people in two days."

Thor appeared flustered. "He's adopted."

Rona made a small sound of surprise, blushing as half a dozen gazes swung her way. A beat of silence followed before Banner spoke again. "But what did they need the iridium for?"

"It's a stabilizing agent." 

Rona stiffened as Tony Stark walked into the room, Phil by his side. She and Stark had never had the warmest relationship, at best they tolerated one another. At worst....she recalled the first time they had met, nearly twenty years ago, when he had immediately hit on her. Rona had broken his hand. Now he glanced at her as he passed by. 

"Agent Mancini. You're looking..." He gave her a once-over and then smirked. "Youthful."

Rona smiled. "Wish I could say the same for you." She looked away to find Steve watching them, frowning slightly. She shook her head and strode from the room, nearly colliding with Fury in the hallway.

"Agent Mancini. You're in a hurry." He glanced past her, toward the door.

She shrugged. "You know Stark always gets under my skin. I thought I'd go find something more productive to do."

"As long as it doesn't involve our new prisoner." There was a warning written plainly on his face, and Rona felt her own growing hot. She struggled to keep her cool.

"Wouldn't think of it, sir." 

He stared at her for a moment longer and then nodded, moving past her to the door. Rona walked away without looking back, seething inwardly. Once she turned the corner, she leaned against the wall, her mind in turmoil, trying to make sense of what she had heard in the briefing room. Loki planned to bring an army _here_ , to conquer her home? Had he forgotten her? Maybe, when he had sent her from Asgard, he had given her up completely.

"Rona?" A hand on her shoulder startled her. She turned to find Steve watching her, his face concerned. "Are you okay?"

She meant to nod, but instead found herself shaking her head. "Phil was right. Loki is...he has changed. I don't...I don't know what to do." She broke off, her voice cracking.

Steve was silent for a moment, thoughtful. "Time has a way of changing people. Well, most people." He waited until she returned his smile before speaking again. "Do you think you can get through to him?"

"Loki is stubborn, and manipulative. He won't reveal more than he wants to, no matter what Fury does to him."

Steve shook his head. "No, can _you_ get through to him?"

"I...I don't know. It's been a long time since he last saw me. I don't know what his feelings are anymore."

"But I'm right in thinking you were...close once?" She nodded. "Then you have a better chance of getting through to him than any of us. And you have to try." 

He smiled, and then moved away down the hall, leaving her alone to consider his words. She hesitated before heading toward the crew quarters. She needed to compose herself before she saw Loki for the first time. Before she did her best to convince him to abandon whatever he had planned.

***

It was late when she finally made her way to the detention area. She had seen Nat leave a little earlier, in such a hurry that she hadn't noticed Rona lurking in the corridor. She wondered what information, if any, Nat had managed to coerce Loki into revealing. Rona paused with her hands on the door, trying to catch her breath. She had wished for so long to see Loki again, and now that the moment had come, her nerves threatened to give out on her. Then she shook her head in irritation. She had never been afraid of the man on the other side of the door. And she would not let him think she was now.

When she entered the room, she was in shadows, the lighting focused on the glass cell in the center of the room. Loki paced in his cage, his back to her, but he stopped when he heard the swoosh of the door closing. He turned toward her and stared into the darkness, his face blank. Then he smiled.

"Have you come to play more games?" 

Obviously he thought Nat had returned for another round of interrogation. Rona took a deep breath, steeling herself, and then she stepped forward into the light. She watched Loki's eyes widen as he took in the sight of her, and then his face darkened with fury. His voice came low and hissing. 

"What trickery is this?"

"No tricks, Loki. It's me."

She saw him flinch at the sound of her voice. He stepped closer to the wall of the cage, shaking his head. 

" _Impossible_. It has been thirty-four years, she would be gray-haired by now. How dare you make this pretense just to attempt to wheedle information from me!" 

His hands were knotted into fists at his sides, his eyes blazing. She felt that if the glass hadn't been between them, he would have tried to rip her apart. Yet, he'd counted the years they spent apart, just as she had. 

She smiled. "I thought you might need proof." She stepped forward until she stood inches from the glass, her eyes never leaving his. "So I'm glad I still have this." She raised the hem of her shirt, watching as his gaze followed her movements, landing on the ugly red scar that crawled across her stomach.

" _Rona_." Her name left his mouth in a cry that she felt all the way to her core. His hand clutched uselessly at the glass between them as he met her eyes again. "How?"

"Centuries ago, an Asgardian warrior came to this world and fell in love with it."

Loki nodded impatiently. "I've heard the stories."

"That warrior is my father. I am half-Asgardian, Loki. I will live longer than most humans, age slower. If I had known..." 

He backed away, hands raised in front of him as if warding off her words. Shoulders hunched, he spun toward the opposite wall, and Rona watched a shudder go through him. She hesitated, weighing her words carefully.

"Loki, whatever you have planned, you need to stop, right now. Please, if you still feel anything for me."

He turned to face her again, drawing himself up to his full height. "That was a long time ago." His jaw clenched. "Everything has changed."

"Not for me."

His gaze dropped to his hands, now loosely clenched in front of him. He stood there for a moment without speaking, without moving, and and she thought maybe she had gotten through to him. But then he raised his head, and she saw the coldness in his eyes. 

"Then come with me, and we will rule this realm together."

Rona's heart dropped. "What are you saying, Loki? These are my friends, this is my home! I can't let you destroy it..." 

Her words were drowned out as an explosion shook the ship, knocking her to her hands and knees. Her head filled with shouting, Fury's voice barking commands through the comlink in her ear. They were being attacked, all hell about to break loose, she heard Fury call her name. She struggled to her feet, and when she looked at Loki he was smiling in delight at the chaos erupting around them. The smile flickered only briefly when his eyes met hers.

His voice was like steel. "Just remember, I offered you a choice."


	5. Chapter Four

Rona burst out into the hallway at a dead run, calling Fury on her com as she went. His report was grim. The ship was under attack, they had lost one engine and were dangerously close to losing another. Stark and Rogers were working on getting it repaired, but they needed backup and Nat and Banner were nowhere to be found.

"I've got it, sir." 

She headed for the port side of the ship, pushing all thoughts of Loki to the back of her mind. She had to focus on stopping the attack and keeping this ship in the air. Rounding a corner, she froze in shock at the sight in front of her. A gaping hole ripped through the side of the ship, a mass of twisted metal and shorn wires. Rogers was holding off a group of men in SHIELD uniforms, but as she watched, he lost the upper hand and slid off the side of the ship.

"Steve!" 

The men turned at her shout and advanced on her. Rona hesitated. These men worked for SHIELD, some of them she probably knew by sight, if not name. She would have liked to use her "special skills", but their minds were being controlled by Loki and she wasn't at all sure that her abilities would work. It looked like she would just have to do her best not to kill anyone.

She surprised the men by moving toward them, building up momentum and pulling her knives from their sheaths strapped across her back. At the last second she dropped to her knees, sliding between the two closest men. Her blades flashed as she sliced across the back of their legs. Both men dropped to the ground, moaning. Rona had already risen back to her feet, twisting and slashing so quickly she was virtually a blur. Bullets pinged off the metal walls, but none of the men could get a good aim on her. In the space of a few minutes, those who weren't lying bloodied at her feet were retreating down the hallway. She slid her knives back into their sheaths and hurried toward the side of the ship.

"Steve?" 

She peered over the side to see him hanging from a loose cable that bounced against the hull. Rona breathed a quick sigh of relief before helping him back onto the ship.

"After watching you at work, I can't say I'm looking forward to our rematch."

She let the shadow of a smile flitter across her face. "Seeing you fall to your death was pretty motivating."

His eyes drifted and he frowned, reaching forward. She felt a sting as his finger brushed her arm. "Looks like you're not bulletproof after all."

Rona glanced down to see a ragged tear in her sleeve revealing a shallow groove where a bullet had grazed her. "It's a flesh wound, I'll be fine. Where's Stark?"

"Stark!" 

He dashed toward a lever on the wall and flipped it. Stark shot out of the engine and skidded across the floor beside Rona, his Iron Man suit scratched and battered. He sat up, his face mask sliding back.

"So you guys are just hanging around while I'm doing all the heavy lifting?"

Rona rolled her eyes and was about to respond when Fury's voice crackled over her earpiece. "Agent down! The prisoner is headed for the flight deck!" 

Rona turned without a word and took off as fast as she could run, cursing herself for not remaining with Loki in the first place. She should have known that he had something planned, that he wouldn't just let himself be captured without an exit strategy in place. Whoever the injured agent was, she held herself responsible.

She heard the thwapping blades of the 'copter before she made it to the flight deck. The wind whipped the hair that had escaped from her ponytail as she ran onto the deck, pulling her gun from its holster. She could see Loki in the helicopter that was beginning to take off and she screamed his name as she took a firing position. 

"Stop! Now!"

Her eyes were locked on Loki, she didn't even see the soldier beside him until a bullet whizzed past her. Loki's face darkened, his mouth moving although the words were drowned out by the roar of the 'copter. He slammed into the soldier as he aimed another shot at Rona, knocking him out of the open door. Their eyes met and she froze, finger on the trigger, willing herself to do her job, take the shot, just get him back on the ship.

As the helicopter lifted up out of range, she saw him smile.

"Agent Mancini?" Fury's voice in her ear made her start guiltily.

"I'm here, sir." No need to mention that "here" happened to be on the flight deck watching Loki disappear into the distance.

"I need you in detention. _Quickly._ "

***

"Sir, I'm not sure this is such a good idea." 

Rona and Fury stood beside the door of the detention room, voices hushed. She glanced toward the man sitting slumped against the wall a few feet away.

"You wanted to know why I brought you here?" Fury said, his face grim and intense. "This is it. For moments when you're the _only_ one who can salvage the situation."

"But at what price?" 

She met his gaze, searching for an answer that she already knew. Sometimes sacrifices were necessary. He'd told her that often enough she swore she heard it in her dreams. Shaking her head, she turned away, crossing the room and kneeling in front of the man on the floor. She took his hand in both of hers. 

"Phil?"

His eyes opened, shifting around the room before focusing on her. He smiled weakly. "Ro. I'm sorry, your boyfriend and I didn't really hit it off."

Her eyes were burning with suppressed tears, but she smiled anyway. "There's always next time."

He winced, his breathing labored. "I don't think so. I'm clocking out."

"No. It's a flesh wound." He laughed, flecks of blood dotting his mouth. Rona's voice was firm as she spoke in an even, measured tone. "Phil, look at me." She waited for his eyes to meet hers again. "Now listen. You're going to be just fine. The medics are going to stitch you up, and then you're going to take a nice, long vacation. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. A vacation sounds pretty good."

She smiled again, squeezing his hand. "Okay. Now I need you to sleep, Phil. Can you do that, for me?" He nodded and his eyes slid shut. The hand in hers went slack. Rona closed her eyes too, hot tears sliding down her cheeks and dropping onto their clasped hands. Gently releasing him, she stood and turned to Fury. 

"Anything else? _Sir_?"

***

She couldn't bring herself to go into the briefing room, listen to whatever story Fury spun for the rest of the team. Instead she waited in the detention center even after the medics had carried Phil away, staring at the bloodstain on the wall. She felt like she was unraveling, torn by the knowledge of what Loki had done and yet still desperately hoping that there was a good man left inside him. The smallest shred of the man she had known.

"Shouldn't Fury have sent _you_ after Loki instead?" She turned to find Stark behind her, arms crossed, a frown darkening his face. "I mean, you have some kind of special powers, right? You were surely a better choice than..."

"Whatever you're going to say, Stark, stop now. Phil is _my_ friend."

"So what are you going to do about it?" He waited, but Rona remained silent. "He has to be stopped. You _know_ that."

"I also know it's going to take more than Iron Man to do it." She brushed past him, heading for the door, but his next words made her stop abruptly.

"Cause a highly-trained SHIELD agent did such a great job last time."

She shook her head without turning around and pushed through the door, nearly bouncing off Steve. "Woah, where are you in such a hurry to get to?"

"I have to find Loki. I have to be the one who gets there first."

"You can't go alone. You don't even know where he is."

"I'll find him." She sighed. "It's my fault he got away. It's my fault that..."

Steve grabbed her shoulders. "Rona, don't. You can't hold yourself responsible for Loki's actions."

"But if I can just get close to him...I might be able to stop him."

He was silent for a moment and then he let her go, taking a step back. "We'll be right behind you, Rona. I hope you're right, but one way or another, we're not going to let him win. So there might come a point when you have to ask yourself what side you're really on."

She nodded slowly. "Then I hope that I'm right too."

Rona went over her options as the jet sped towards New York. No matter what happened, today would likely be the end of her career at SHIELD. After Phil, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay. Once she had been able to read Loki, to decipher him as easily as if his thoughts were her own. But she had underestimated him. And Phil had paid for it. She shook her head. She couldn't let that happen again. From now on, she had to be one step ahead of everyone if this was going to work out the way she wanted it to. She had faith in Steve and the rest of the Avengers to save the planet.

She meant to save her world.


	6. Chapter Five

New York continued about its normal, day-to-day routine without the least inkling of the destruction lurking on the horizon. As Rona left the Quinjet she'd "borrowed" behind and made her way through the streets, worry knotted her stomach. If Loki was allowed to complete his plans, many of the people surrounding her would lose their lives. This city, her home, would never be the same. She had to get through to him, make him see the utter madness of what he was doing. But how would she go about finding him in the bustling crowds around her? Wander around and hope to feel his presence? Follow the trail of chaos that he left in his wake?

Her cellphone rang and she pulled it from her pocket, wincing as she saw the number on the screen. Anyone else, and she might not have answered at all.

"Nat, don't bother trying to talk me out of this."

"Fury is livid. I'm supposed to tell you to report in." A slight pause followed. "Now that's done...someone wants to talk to you." Another pause, and then a different voice came through the speaker.

"You really thought you could get rid of me that easy?"

Relief washed over her; even as a small part wondered if Nat had put him on the phone because he'd be more likely to talk her down. "Clint! Are you alright?"

"My brains feel a little scrambled, but...yeah. What about you?" When she didn't respond, he sighed. "Tasha told me Phil..."

She cut him off, jaw tensing. "I'm not coming back in, Clint. Tell Fury you did your best." 

"Ro." Her thumb hovering over the end call button, she waited for him to speak again. "Be careful."

Before she could put her phone away, it beeped with the notification that she had a text, a two word message in all caps. She smiled. They might have been coming at this from different sides, but she could still count on her friends to give her a heads up. She slipped her phone back into her pocket and accelerated her pace. Now that she had a destination, she just had to make sure she arrived first.

***

Stark's tower rose above her, the myriad windows reflecting the city, the sky. Rona tilted her head back, catching the faintest glimpse of movement on the roof. She stepped toward the door and then hesitated, reaching up and pulling the ponytail holder from her hair. Anything that might trigger Loki's memories of her would be an advantage.

There were guards in the lobby, weapons raised and pointed at her. Rona held both hands up, palms out. 

"Easy, guys. I'm here to see your...boss." 

She kept her voice calm, hoping that she could penetrate the fog that blanketed their minds. One of the guards stepped forward, motioning toward the elevator with the barrel of his gun. Rona followed his directions, and when the elevator doors slid open, she stepped inside. Two of the guards followed her, their guns still trained on her. She ignored them, focusing on what her move would be when she saw Loki.

Then the doors opened, and all her thoughts flittered away like butterflies. There he stood in front of her, hands clasped behind his back, surprise written across his face. But he recovered quickly, an expression of cool disinterest settling upon his features once more.

"Are you here to reconsider my offer?"

"I came to talk to you." She stepped out of the elevator, stopping a few feet away from him. The guards were close behind, but he waved them away and they retreated to stand against the wall. 

"Talk? Oh, you're going to try to convince me to spare these pitiful creatures." He smiled, a cold hard smile that was nothing like the Loki she used to know. "You will fail."

"So will you."

He stepped closer, and Rona felt her pulse rise with the tantalizing nearness of him. "You are just as headstrong as ever." His eyes swept over her. "At least some things have not changed."

"I may seem different, but I am still the same person who knew you all those years ago." She paused, trying to calm the trembling of her voice. "Who loved you."

A shadow crossed his face, his eyes darkening. "They're here, aren't they? Your _friends._ " The word dripped with contempt. "They're out there, just waiting for your signal."

Rona shook her head. "No, Loki." He flinched at the sound of his name. "I came alone." She prayed that the others weren't close, that they wouldn't arrive in a few moments and make her words a lie. "I came for you." 

She waited as he studied her, wondering perhaps if he dared to trust her. The key was not to say too much, not to embellish, if she had any hope of convincing him. So she held her tongue, even though her heart had so many things it ached to say.

"You would risk everything you know, for _me_?" He was inches away from her now, his voice hushed.

Rona nodded. "Until my last breath, remember?" 

His eyes searched her face, and she thought she could see hope in them. Longing. She had to believe he loved her still. He raised his hand, reaching toward her, and she held her breath, afraid that if he touched her, even once, she would come undone. Then he stopped, his arm dropping. He straightened, moving around her in a slow circle, hands once more clasped behind him.

"I am curious. You are half Asgardian, you must have powers, skills."

"Like you said, I'm only _half_ Asgardian."

"But there must be something." His voice came hissing from behind her and she shivered. When she spoke, it was an effort to keep her words slow and steady.

"I want to tell you everything that I've discovered about myself, my past. But I need to know that you will not harm these people." She waited until he stepped in front of her again, filling her mind with images of the two of them so many years ago, happy and in love and _together_. He would _have_ to remember what they had meant to each other, what they still _could_ mean to each other. 

She just needed him to look at her. 

"Please, Loki, just stop this foolishness. Then we can have the life we dreamed of."

He raised an eyebrow. " _I'm_ a fool? When you're the one fiddling around inside my head?" He smiled as her face paled. "Oh yes, I can feel you. So you do have _talents."_ His smile faded, voice hardening."Was that it all along? A manipulation?"

She shook her head. "No, Loki..."

"It was all lies, wasn't it, that you loved me? None of it was real." The outrage on his face, the disgust, filled her with desperation. Tears pricked her eyes.

"It was real to me." 

Her words came out choked with emotion. But the Loki that stood before her now was not the Loki she remembered, the one who had held her in his arms and sworn eternal love for her. This man was nothing but hate and pure, blind rage. He motioned toward the guards.

"Lock her away. If she loves these creatures so much." His eyes never left her face as the guards took her arms and began to drag her from the room, the venom in his parting words like an icepick in her heart.

"She can die with them."


	7. Chapter Six

Rona didn't try to resist as the guards hauled her away. She kept her eyes on Loki and she held herself together. She would deny him the satisfaction of watching her scream and beg for her life, if that's what he expected. Her attempt to influence his mind, while a deplorable failure, had at least answered one of her questions. Hers hadn't been the only presence in Loki's mind. She'd had suspicions since she'd talked to him in the detention center, since she'd looked into his eyes. Thirty-four years wasn't long enough to forget that Loki's eyes should be green.

But the knowledge had come at a price. Now Loki believed their entire history had been nothing more than a manipulation. He would question every memory they shared, if he bothered to think about them at all. 

Still...he _had_ thrown a man from a helicopter to keep her from getting hurt. She had to believe that some of his feelings for her remained. That _something_ could be salvaged. Maybe thinking they could restore their relationship was foolish, but surely it could be rebuilt _._

The guards yanked her roughly out of the elevator on the next floor down, thrusting her into the nearest empty room. As they left, locking the door behind them, Rona stood motionless, head bowed. Let them report back to their "master" that she was locked away safely, no longer a concern, let Loki believe he'd broken her with his words. She preferred when the target didn't see her coming, her best method of attack had always been swift and unexpected.

She was called Shadowstrike for a reason.

A flash of red and gold outside the window caught her eye. Clearly, she hadn't beaten the Avengers to New York by much. She stepped toward the glass, staring in shock at the pandemonium below her. Rubble and mangled cars littered the streets. She spotted Rogers herding a group of people to safety, dodging falling chunks of concrete. It hadn't been that long since she stepped into the tower and yet the world outside had changed completely. Monsters from another realm had come to wreak havoc while Rona preoccupied herself with a lover's quarrel. Phil would have been so disappointed. 

Spinning around, she tested the door, but Stark's design plans apparently neglected to include doorknobs. A flat panel beside the door prompted her for a code she didn't have. She glanced up at the sleek grate of an air vent near the top of one wall. She'd have to join the party another way.

Dragging over a chair, she climbed up and pried the grate out of the wall with the edge of one of her knives. The vent stretched away in front of her, dim and cramped, but from what she could see, free of rats and crawly things. With a groan, she hoisted herself up into the vent, hearing the chair clatter to the floor behind her. She began crawling, her progress slow and awkward in the narrow confines. She tried not to think about what would happen if she got stuck. 

Eventually she reached a vertical shaft, the faint light above an indicator, she hoped, that it opened onto the roof. To her relief, climbing up proved only slightly harder than moving through the vents horizontally; at least now her arms and legs could share the work. She reached the grate at the top and paused to catch her breath, listening to the sounds of a battle going on outside the vent. Eyes closed, she felt with her mind for the consciousness of those fighting, but the only one she could sense clearly was Nat. Nat and some strange alien presence that surrounded her, indistinct and vague. There might be only a handful of the creatures Thor had called Chitauri on the roof outside. There could be a thousand. 

Bracing herself against the wall of the vent, she kicked at the grate above her until the screws holding it in place snapped and she could push it free. She imagined Stark would probably bill her for that later. Peering through the opening, she saw Selvig lying slumped on the ground near the Tesseract while Nat fought off a mob of Chitauris. She was holding her own, but the despicable creatures continued pouring out of a hole in the sky. Rona climbed out of the vent, pulling her knives as she ran toward the nearest Chitauri. 

"I thought you'd have this taken care of by the time we got here," Nat yelled over to her.

"You know me," Rona replied as the first Chitauri fell at her feet. "I like to share."

The Chitauris were strong, but surprisingly slow. The first two went down in a matter of seconds, bleeding from multiple wounds. Then three came at her at once and she feinted to one side, her blade slashing downward. Without pausing, she swung in the other direction, plunging her knife into the second Chitauri's chest. She heard the scrape of steel against bone as she pulled it free and watched him drop to the ground. Arms grabbed her from behind, and she felt the disgusting breath of the third Chitauri against her ear. Then they were both falling backwards, the Chitauri still gripping her arms.

They landed with a bone-jarring thump on the balcony below. Rona rolled to her side, gasping for breath. The Chitauri that had broken her fall lay unconscious, possibly dead beside her, but more were dropping from above. She raised her head to see Loki in the room in front of her, watching her with interest. She pulled herself to her feet, eyes never leaving his face. Then the Chitauris were on her, surrounding her, and she became a whirlwind of lethal movement. Her years of training had turned fighting into little more than muscle memory, as natural for her as breathing. The Chitauris dropped like stones in her path, throats slashed and chests ripped open.

"Rona!" 

She barely had time to turn toward the sound of his voice before Loki slammed into her, knocking her to the ground. One of the alien's gliders smashed into the wall inches from where she'd been standing. Rona stared into Loki's eyes, so close to hers, and saw fear mingled with surprise. Then he rose to his feet, turning toward the glider, one of her knives gripped in his hand, and she saw something else, something that caused hope to swell inside her chest. The glint of sunlight sparking off metal, the delicate links of a chain. 

She sat up, watching in a daze as Loki leaped onto the glider the Chitauri had attempted to maneuver away from the building. The beast didn't put up much of a fight as Loki slashed at it, finally shoving it over the side. He turned to the controls, but the front of the glider had been so mangled by its impact with the wall that it seemed impossible to control. It began falling in an erratic, circular motion.

"Loki!" 

She started to tell him to jump, but in an instant the glider had dropped too low for him to reach the balcony. If anyone was going to jump, it would have to be her. She took a deep breath and then ran toward the edge, not even hesitating as she leaped off. There was a moment of terrifying weightlessness and then her feet hit the glider beside Loki. She felt his arm wrap around her to keep her from falling.

"Are you absolutely insane? What do you think you're doing?" He shouted to make himself heard over the wind that rushed past them.

"Saving your life," she shouted back, gripping the controls. "Now hold on to something." 

Every muscle in her arms strained as she struggled to steer the glider toward the side of the building. A window loomed larger and larger before them and then they burst through the glass, skidding across the floor of the room on the other side. They were both thrown from the glider, tumbling in a tangled mass through the building.

***

Rona winced as she pulled herself to her feet, coughing in the dust that swirled around them. Her shirt had torn, revealing a pale strip of her stomach, but nothing seemed to be broken. When she glanced around, she saw Loki watching her with a frown.

"You know we could have both been killed."

Rona began to move around the room, checking the exits. "Well, if I had let you steer, we would have landed a few hundred feet lower so...you're welcome."

Loki was silent for a moment as he watched her securing doors. "That was quite a display up there."

She shrugged one shoulder. "I've had a lot of time to practice."

"Yes, you've become quite accomplished. So _many_ changes." His voice oozed sarcasm, his face scrunched into a sneer.

She crossed the room toward him, lifting the chain on his neck to reveal a jagged metal shard. The same shard that she once wore. "Not that many."

He shook his head, pulling away from her. "Everything between us was lies." He spit the words at her like they were poison on his tongue. "You manipulated me into... _feeling_ for you."

"No. I may not have known what I was, but I knew who I wanted." She stepped closer, eyes never leaving his face. "That is one of the things that hasn't changed."

"You don't know me!" His words echoed in the empty room, ringing in her ears, his eyes blazing with fury. "You don't know what I am!"

The depth of his rage startled her, but more than that, the sense that it wasn't entirely directed at her. She wanted to dip beneath the surface of his simmering anger, but knew she didn't dare. Not after her earlier blunder. She'd have to rely solely on her words this time. 

"I know all that I need to know. You are still the man I love." 

She raised her hand to his cheek, but he caught her wrist, his grip like iron. He shook his head slightly, his eyes warning her to stop, to back off. When he turned away, he dropped her arm more forcefully than necessary. But she couldn't stop, she had to get through to him. 

"You can't deny that we meant something to each other. That you don't remember how it was, see my face in your dreams. Because every time I sleep, you're there, I can feel you..."

He rounded on her, face dark with anger. His hand shot out and gripped her neck. "Stop trying to manipulate me!"

Her lungs burned as she tried to take in air, succeeding only in drawing a few shallow breaths. "Go on Loki, show me who you really are," she said, the words barely more than a whisper.

His eyes narrowed as his fingers tightened around her throat. Rona's whole body screamed for oxygen, but she wouldn't look away. Loki watched her, not struggling, calm in the face of his rage. 

"You are still not afraid of me." 

She couldn't speak anymore, she barely managed to shake her head, fighting to keep her eyes open. They felt heavier with each passing second, like lead weights, black spots creeping into the edges of her vision. She'd be unconscious soon, and she wondered if even that would stop him. Then the pressure on her throat eased, his thumb sliding under her chin and down the side of her jaw, his fingers still grasping the back of her neck. She gasped, her head dropping slightly, squeezing her eyes shut as she breathed long and deep. 

"Rona." 

The sound of his voice nearly made her stop breathing again. She glanced up at him, his eyes still burning, but with a different fire now. She opened her mouth to speak, but didn't have the chance to utter a word. With his hand on the back of her head he drew her toward him, his mouth hot and forceful on hers, and all the years between them melted away. His kiss was insistent as he pushed her back against the wall, his fingers sliding through the rips in her shirt, cool against her skin. A moan, low and growling, escaped his throat.

He tore himself away from her. "You are only trying to distract me. Using your charms, your little tricks." His lips twisted into a snarl. "How do I even know you _are_ you? This could all be some mortal sorcery."

"You really think I'm capable of that, when you saw through me so easy earlier?"

"Perhaps that was your plan."

Rona frowned, anger now fighting with the desperation she felt. "Do I have to recount to you every detail of the time we spent together? Because I remember it all! You may be able to toss it aside so easily, but I can't!"

He stepped toward her, voice rising. "I did _not_ toss you aside, I did what I had to! At least I made sure that you..." He stopped abruptly, eyes widening. " _Damn them_." He turned away with a sigh, shaking his head. "We were doomed from the beginning, Rona."

The resignation in his voice scared her more than anything he had said or done so far. She struggled to push her emotions down, to keep a clear head. "Since when do you believe in fate?"

He turned his head toward her, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "You do not give up." 

He turned fully, moving toward her again, and a chill slid through her as she remembered that this Loki was more ruthless, more predatory than the one she knew. He stopped bare inches away from her, his head slightly tilted, eyes regarding her with cool speculation. In that moment, she was afraid that she had lost him. 

"What would it take for me to break you?"

"More than you're willing to do."

He leaned in closer, his voice low and dangerous. "You have no idea what I'm willing to do."

Rona stared at him, searching his eyes for any sign that he still felt something for her, but his thoughts were closed to her. She nodded. Then she bent down and removed the knife hidden in her boot. She flipped it in her hand, holding it out to him hilt-first. 

"Then do it. I've lived a lifetime without you. That's long enough."

Loki glanced at the knife and back to her face, eyes narrowing as if he thought this might be a trick as well. He took the knife from her hand slowly, the flat of the blade sliding across her palm. She watched him turn it over in his hands, his thumb testing the razor-sharp edge. He wouldn't meet her eyes, even when he stepped in and raised the knife to her throat his gaze remained trained on the floor. Rona bit her lip, waiting to feel the steel bite through her skin. Then his eyes lifted, locked on hers, and she knew. He would do it, for whatever twisted reasons that drove him now, anger or resentment or self-loathing. She was going to die at the hands of the man she loved. So she had better make her last words count. 

"At least one of us will keep our promise." She filled the sentence with all the disappointment she could muster, gratified to see doubt flicker briefly in his eyes. 

Then his jaw clenched and he pressed the blade against her neck. She felt a sharp, stinging pain, felt something warm trickle down her neck. She closed her eyes, letting out what would probably be her last breath, and waited for him to end it. The moment stretched on, unbearably long, and then...metal rattled against tile. Her eyes opened, landing first on the knife at her feet before finding Loki's gaze. His eyes were wide and shining, his breathing heavy. He shook his head slightly and raised his hand toward her cheek.

Then the room seemed to explode around them, Loki flying away from her in a flash of green. Rona felt strong arms close around her and even without turning around she knew who it was. The Avengers had found them. 

And they were going to ruin everything.


	8. Chapter Seven

Panic bubbled up in Rona's chest as she struggled to free herself from Steve's grasp. Across the room, Loki was pulling himself to his feet, the wall a crumbling mess after the Hulk had smashed him against it. She couldn't see his face, but she knew the timing of the Avengers arrival would have him convinced that her attitude, her desperate gamble, had all been a ruse, a distraction. She'd finally gotten through to him and now...he might never trust her after this.

"Rona, are you alright?" Steve turned her to face him, his eyes scanning her for injuries. He frowned, lightly touching the thin wound on her neck, and she batted his hand away, glaring at him.

"I'm fine, everything is... _"_ What? Under control? Something other than an absolute disaster? "It's fine." She tried to pull away, but his grip on her shoulders was firm. He continued peering at her, face creased with concern.

 _"Let her go_." 

The voice, little more than a menacing growl, startled both of them. Rona turned to see Loki advancing towards them, his narrowed, glaring eyes focused on Steve. He seemed oblivious to the rest of the people in the room, the Hulk who had just attacked him, Thor, Clint with his bow drawn and pointed right at Loki. There could have been only three people in the whole world at that moment; Loki, his face darkening with anger and Rona, still trapped in Steve's arms.

Stark stepped between them. "You're not exactly in the position to be giving orders. While you two lovebirds were canoodling, we shut down your portal." He smirked. "You're an army of one now."

Loki glanced at Stark briefly before his eyes slid back to Rona. He took another step forward, but Thor stopped him with an arm across his chest. 

"It is over, brother. It is time for us to return home." He began to fasten Loki's arms with a heavy-duty set of handcuffs.

"No!" Rona moved forward, Steve finally letting go of her arms. She planted herself in front of Thor and tried her best to be authoritative and professional. "Loki is a prisoner of SHIELD. He stays here."

Thor frowned. "He is of Asgard, and my father demands his return. But I promise you, he will answer for his crimes."

"You can't take him, you have no jurisdiction here. Steve!" She spun toward him, her face pleading, but he only shook his head. Desperate, she turned back to Thor. "Then I'm coming with you." 

That was enough to startle everyone in the room. She heard Nat call her name in a harsh, urgent whisper, but she didn't respond. Loki, who had been staring at Steve with thinly veiled wrath, now turned his gaze to her, his eyebrows rising. Thor shook his head and started to speak, but Rona cut him off. 

"I am of Asgard, too. I have every right to be there."

Loki cut his eyes toward Thor, a smile lifting the edges of his mouth. She could swear he was starting to enjoy this. Thor sighed. "I cannot take you both with the Tesseract. And the Bifrost is still not repaired."

Anxiety filled her completely now, choking her, tightening her chest. After everything, after she had tried so hard to reach Loki, she was losing him again. She was at the point of begging, threatening; when she saw him straighten, drawing himself up. He caught her gaze, held it for a moment, long enough for her heartbeat to thunder in her ears half a dozen times. She felt his mind reaching for hers, calming her, giving her strength. And something else. With a slight nod, she squared her shoulders and turned her attention back to Thor.

"Then you must send for me as soon as the Bifrost is ready." Her composure had returned, all the desperation of a few moments ago erased. She saw Steve staring at her curiously, but she ignored him.

Thor nodded, apparently relieved that she had given up her fight. He started to lead Loki off, when Loki twisted, pulling away. In an instant, he had crossed to Rona, the chain between his wrists just long enough to allow him to place his palms on either side of her face. Then his mouth was on hers, with all the hunger of a thousand lost kisses. She had no idea how long the others let them stand there, locked together, but it wasn't long enough. As Thor pulled him away, Loki's eyes burned into hers.

"As long as I'm alive, Rona." His words were so low, she was sure no one else had heard them. She smiled, her vision blurred by tears.

And then he was gone.

**Three Weeks Later**

Darkness engulfed her, so completely devoid of light that she couldn't see her own body, couldn't be sure she even still had one. A hollow clanking accompanied every movement she made. Her arms felt heavy, weighed down in front of her. She tried to open her mouth, to call for help, but the cold leather across her face bound her jaw shut. She raised her hands, fingers clawing at the mask, more and more frantic as the material refused to budge. She couldn't scream. She couldn't breathe.

Rona bolted up in her bed, gasping, sweat plastering her hair to her forehead. The dream had been the same every night since Loki returned to Asgard. She didn't know if the brief connection he'd activated between them allowed her to experience what he did now, or if it was simply her mind imagining what he might be suffering. It didn't matter, either way. As long as they remained in two separate worlds, it was beyond her control.

A sharp banging sound filtered in from the living room. She groaned, throwing back the covers. Without bothering to change, she shuffled toward the front door, squinting in the glare of the afternoon sun. It was a minor surprise to find Steve standing in the hallway. She had expected Clint to be the one to come for her.

"Sleeping in, or turning in?" He smiled softly. Rona swiped a hand over her tangled hair.

"Not sure there's a difference anymore." She stood back to let him enter, closing the door behind him after a quick glance around the hallway.

He saw her suspicion and shook his head. "I came by myself. I'm worried about you." He glanced away. "Everyone is worried about you."

She laughed harshly. "They wrote me off after...the battle." 

Lying to him felt wrong, left a bad taste in her mouth. They'd all tried to reach her in the past few weeks, repeatedly, but she hadn't responded. She hadn't spoken to anyone since the day she'd walked out of Fury's office, leaving behind her SHIELD ID and agency-issued weapons. He'd placed her on indefinite suspension, told her he expected her to put herself back together and return to work. She'd thanked him for not firing her, and she meant it, but she thought they both knew she didn't plan on coming back. She didn't have to worry that he'd voice his suspicions to anyone, keeping secrets was Fury's favorite hobby, but Steve... She didn't want to face his questions, his judgement, his...disappointment. She had to make him think that she felt abandoned and misunderstood, to believe she only needed time and space to recover from her depression.

"They might have questioned your motives, but they're still your friends."

She turned away, shaking her head. "I'm afraid I lost their friendship that day."

"Not all of them." When she looked at him, she saw no judgement on his face. Only compassion mingled with sadness. He sighed. "I can't tell you to go back to work like nothing happened. To pretend that you don't care. But we both know you can't change the past, Rona."

Her mouth tilted, the shadow of a smile. "No, not the past." For a few moments, they just stared at each other, the silence between them thickening as the seconds passed.

"What are your plans?" The choice of words seemed curious to her, but Steve's face showed no signs of suspicion.

"Well, Fury's given me an extended vacation." She lifted a shoulder. "Maybe I'll go visit my dad, it's been...awhile." She would have told Phil everything, if he had been the one standing in front of her. Probably even Clint would have gotten most of the story out of her. But she felt that Steve saw the world in black and white. He wouldn't understand all her shades of gray.

Finally he nodded. "I know you've always done what you feel is right." He took a step toward her, two, until she could have reached out and touched him. "I just hope it works out better for you this time." 

She couldn't seem to find an adequate response. Once, she'd thought they could become friends, but now this might be the last time they saw each other and she couldn't even say goodbye. Somehow, it didn't seem like enough. So she only nodded, and smiled, and then stood there and watched him leave. 

***

After nearly a month, Rona had to admit that she'd run out of options. Going to anyone at SHIELD was out of the question, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't access the information on her own. It was time for the last resort. She'd have to go to Stark.

She held her breath as she passed through security at Stark Tower, almost certain he would have banned her from the building entirely; but soon she was led to a room filled with translucent computer screens and high-tech devices she couldn't identify. Stark wore his usual smirk, but his eyes were wary.

"Agent Mancini. You here to repay me for that window?"

Rona shook her head. "I need your help." It surprised her how hard those words were to say to him. He had no reason to help her, they weren't friends, they weren't even coworkers, really. And there was that small, spiteful voice inside her head that told her she didn't _deserve_ his help. 

His eyebrows rose, and he pointed a finger at his chest. "Me? The 'entitled, overgrown toddler,' wasn't that it?"

She smiled wryly. "Verbatim, actually."

"Well, it's one of the nicer things I've been called." He crossed his arms. "Why would you want help from me?"

"You saved my city, probably the whole planet, that earns you something in my book." She sighed deeply, searching for a reason other absolute desperation. "And...Phil always liked you."

She waited for him to decide if he would help her or turn her away. It would have been simple to probe his mind for the answer, probably she could even have convinced him that he _wanted_ to do what she asked. But she'd only been in Tony Stark's head once, and it wasn't an experience she ever wished to repeat. She didn't want to feel the pain and trauma he carried within him.

"What do you need?"

She wondered if her relief was as obvious as it felt. "Loki put a thought in my brain, a way to get to Asgard. But I can't see it." 

He began to move around the room, tapping keyboards and swiping across screens. "What kind of 'thought' are we talking about here? Directions, coordinates?" He smirked. "A postcard?"

She shook her head in frustration. "I don't know."

He paused, frowning in thought, and then moved to a series of drawers that lined one wall. Opening one, he removed something and crossed the room toward her. When he reached for her head, she pulled away instinctively, one arm raised in defense. Stark held up his hands, palms out to display the small electrodes he held. 

"We're going to establish a neural link and see what we can get." His eyebrows rose in a silent question. Rona lowered her arm, nodding guiltily. 

"Sorry." 

Stark reached toward her again, attaching the electrodes to her temples, and then turned away briskly. Rona watched him manipulate the displays like an orchestra conductor, muttering to his AI as he worked. Unease stirred inside her.

"How much will this neural link be able to access?"

He glanced over at her. "Afraid I'm going to find out all your dirty secrets, Agent Mancini?" When she glared at him, he chuckled and turned back to the screens. "If you don't want me to know something, just don't think about it."

The irony of having to hide her thoughts from someone else wasn't lost on her. Maybe she needed to practice that skill in the future, it would probably be beneficial, in fact, if SHIELD Academy offered a course in thought concealment. 

A tingling began in the skin beneath the electrodes, not painful exactly, but Rona's fingers itched to rip them off. 

"Okay, focus on whatever Loki put in your head and ignore everything else. Try not to think about how outrageously attractive you find me."

Rona rolled her eyes, ignoring Stark's comment and fixating on the message Loki had given her. Images began to flash across the screens, Loki's face, rocks and sandy ground. Watching them made her dizzy and she longed to close her eyes, to shut them out, but she _needed_ to see. Finally one image settled on the screen, an unremarkable formation of rocks with a narrow slash of an opening along one side. 

"Hold it, I think we've got something. Jarvis, search for anything matching that image."

"Already running, sir."

Stark spoke to her over his shoulder. "Anything else you want to know while we're in there? Questions you..." He broke off, staring at the new images flickering on the screens. The dark, the trees, the empty eyes above a black mask. "What..."

Rona tore the electrodes from her temples, her pulse hammering below her skin. "I've got what I need." She crossed the room to place the electrodes on the desk, unable to meet Stark's eyes. The silence in the room felt heavy and thick, broken only by the disembodied voice of his AI.

"Sir, I believe I have pinpointed the location."

Stark turned his attention from Rona to the information on the screen. "Looks like you're going to New Mexico."

Rona nodded, a grim smile briefly lifting her mouth. Of _course_ it was New Mexico. Stark scribbled something quickly on a scrap of paper, but when Rona reached for it, he pulled away.

"For someone who spends so much time in other people's heads, you sure don't like them poking around in yours."

She met his gaze then, unflinchingly. "Believe me...you wouldn't like what you found."

He hesitated a moment longer and then held out the paper again. "The coordinates."

She glanced at the string of numbers before slipping it into her pocket and turning toward the door. 

"Have a nice trip, Agent Mancini." The sarcasm had returned to his voice. Rona paused, struck by the usual conflict she felt around him. She would tell him this time, he didn't like her anyway, so what did it matter whether the revelation tipped his feelings over into hatred? He had every right to hate her for what she'd done. No...what she _hadn't_ done.

"Stark, I..." Facing him again, the courage left her. She didn't have time for this conversation, once she began, he'd want to know _everything_ , and she'd already wasted too many days trying to find her way. She needed to be in Asgard. Making amends for her failures would have to wait.

"Thanks." She smiled, possibly the first genuine smile she'd ever given him, and left the room. 

***

A wall of heat buffeted her as the motorcycle roared down the highway. Rona began to regret wearing her usual black shirt and jeans, the tight leather jacket. The helmet made her feel like she was suffocating. She coasted to a stop, her braided hair falling out of the helmet as she pulled it off. The breeze was warm, but refreshing after being stifled by her own breath for so long. She'd passed the last gas station an hour ago, and now it seemed she was the only living soul for miles around.

Rona dragged the bike off the road to a low outcropping of rocks, covering it with small, scrubby bushes. Then she turned toward the rock formation several hundred feet away, rusty-colored against the flat blue sky. She heard Loki's voice whispering in her head again, his words seared into her memory. _Wait. There are other ways._ She checked the coordinates against the navigation on her watch. This was the place.

When she reached the formation she began to climb, loose rocks biting into her palms. She pulled herself onto a ledge, brushing her hands off on her jeans as she surveyed the narrow cave in front of her. If Loki had been telling the truth, this was a back door from his world into hers, a gateway that only he knew about. For a moment, anger twisted inside her. Couldn't he have managed, even once in thirty years, to sneak away, to find her? Then she shook her head. Steve was right, she couldn't change the past. She moved into the cave, the cool air raising goosebumps on her skin.

But the future? She'd do everything in her power to change that. 


End file.
